Me and my house

"As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15)

Christlike

A phrase in this weeks chapter of the book we are studying at Mom's group really challenged me:

"Moms who have Jesus' life flowing through them without hindrance are free to love their children unconditionally, discipline fearlessly, firmly, and fairly, and their lives beam with the radiance of Christ. When the children see their mother, they see Jesus shining through her. It is a powerful witness."

(Denise Glen, Freedom for Mothers)

"When the children see their mother, they see Jesus shining through her." Is that what my children see when they look at me? That's what I want my children to see when they look at me.

"For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." Rom 8:29

As Christians we are to be becoming more Christlike, one of the results of this is that our children see Jesus Christ in us. We are not just teaching our children about Jesus but showing them Him.

Are we raising our children in our image, or in Christ's image?

Love

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

I am so grateful to God for our children, I love them so much. They know I love them not just because of the words I say to them but because of my actions and my attitudes towards them. I want to be more patient with them, kind towards them, humble around them, honoring of them, preferring their needs above my own, polite towards them, forgiving of them, rejoicing with them in truth, protecting of them, trusting in them, hoping for them, and persevering with them in all things.

"Let us love one another, for love comes from God... We love because he first loved us." (1 John 4:7,19)

Gospel centred family

Chet Daniels reviews the book 'Gospel-Centred Family: Becoming the parents God wants you to be' by Ed Moll and Tim Chester on The Gospel Coalition Blog today.  He introduces it by saying:

"Most books on parenting today focus on getting a child to comply to the parent’s standard of behavior or to become well-trained, well-rounded children. Others focus on trying to get the gospel to fit into the family life. Rarely do you see books that encourage family life to fit into the gospel. Gospel-Centred Family is one such book."

Until I get hold of a copy myself here's a brief review of the review!  The book is arranged into four parts:

A Gospel-centred family - A biblical family home demonstrates how great it is to live under God's reign of love and is where we learn to live for the glory of God and the good of others.  Parents teach their children that knowing God is far more important than succeeding in life not only by their words but also their actions and their priorities.

 

A Grace-centred family - The end goal of discipline is not just to get children to obey us as parents but is the means God uses to teach them to submit to his authority.  Rather than focussing on rules, which trains children to become legalists, parents should focus on developing their relationship with their kids, reflecting the love and grace of the gospel, delighting in them as God does in his children.

A Word-centred family - Parents should teach their children about God in the context of everyday life, not just through family devotions, but by speaking of God in normal daily conversations.  

A Mission-centred family - We must show our children that they are part of a bigger family, the family of God.  Church is not just somewhere they go but something the family is part of.  Children learn that they are not the centre of the world as we involve them in one-another ministry alongside us as parents.

I have been thinking a lot recently about what it really means to be a family on mission together and feel this is God's desire for all our families as we follow him.  The focus of our lives is not primarily on doing what we feel is best for our children, or ourselves, but on God and his purposes for us as a family.  

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  (Ephesians 3:20-21)

As we as a family step out in faith, through the power of the Holy Spirit, God can use us to do amazing things that will have eternal significance.  His plans for our family are far beyond our own.  What a privilege, what a challenge, what a call: to live our lives for his glory.

Bearing spiritual fruit as mothers

We are working through Denise Glenn's book 'Freedom for Mothers' at the Mum's group at church this term.  It's central theme is taken from John 15:5:

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing."

As we abide in God He meets our need for love and acceptance and He fills us with his Spirit.  As a result of this we are able to bear fruit as mothers:

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control."  (Galatians 5:22-23)

I long for even more of this fruit in my relationship with my children.  I would like to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self controlled with them.  I can't do it by trying harder in my own strength, but as I abide in God his Spirit works in me to produce these fruit.

Our goal for our children

"What is our goal for our children? To be happy? To have good jobs? Our main goal must be to train them to follow God. Our children are not our own, they belong to Him and we have a responsibility before Him to train them."

- Carl and Virginia Herrington in their article "Building families that embrace mission"

It is easy as parents to get drawn into following the world's values in parenting our children. But what does the Bible say about some of these common aspirations...

Is our goal to raise happy children?

Is our goal to raise well behaved children?

Is our goal to raise well educated children?

Is our goal to raise children with a financially secure future?

Is our goal to raise successful children?

These may be good things but are they God's best? Our goal is to raise children who above everything else follow Jesus' example to:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength... [and] Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:30-31)

God's best

Over the summer the Women's group at church have been working through Cynthia Heald's book "Becoming a Woman of Simplicity". I have found it helpful and although it does not specifically discuss Mothering, it does speak to issues that are very relevent to us as mothers.

One of the main points she raises can be summed up by this quote in the book, from Gordon MacDonald's father:

"Your challenge will not be in separating out the good from the bad, but in grabbing the best out of all the possible good".

Cynthia writes, "My concern is that we live in a world where doing, communicating, and possessing so rule our lives that we have allowed even good things to overtake our time and distract from the best."

She recalls,"I was involved in worthy things: helping in my childrens schools and activities, being in a garden club, serving in Sunday school, teaching a Bible study, inviting friends over for a meal. All of these activities were good, but my problem was that I was committed to doing them all at the same time. As a result I felt pulled in many directions and eventually realized that I was missing out on what was most important. My busy life was robbing me of my most precious relationships - my time with the Lord and my family...I was doing a lot of good things but they were taking the place of the most important. I needed to abide [in Him]."

"Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."  (John 15:5)

Homemaking - the ultimate career

"The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only, and that is to support the ultimate career." CS Lewis

Quoted by Jonathan LeTocq today on Twitter.

The Wife of Noble Character

"The Wife of Noble Character" described in Proverbs 31:10-31 is a woman I aspire to be like in many ways:

 ¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

 ¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

 ¹² She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

 ¹³ She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

 ¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

 ¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

 ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

 ¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

 ¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

 ¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

 ²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

 ²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

 ²² She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

 ²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

 ²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

 ²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

 ²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

 ²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

 ²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

 ²⁹ "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

 ³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

 ³¹ Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Teaching God's word to our children

"You shall teach [God's words] to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking in the way, and when you lie down and when you rise" (Deut 11:19)

Tyson Paoletti quoted this passage in his article 'Scripture Memory - A Father's Perspective' on the Resurgence blog recently.  Although he is talking specifically to Fathers in the blog, this verse is addressed to 'Israel' so is applicable to Mothers too.  Whilst the context is obviously under Old Testament Law I feel it would still be God's desire for us today.

Tyson Paoletti comments that it is parents "...who have the primary responsibility for teaching our kids about God, not the church.  The church is there to supplement what our kids should already be learning at home."

This reminded me of a recent blog post by Carl Thomas, "Ghetto Parenting and it's Charismatic counterpart" (a comment on the recent negative media reports about secular 'ghetto parents') in which he lists some symptoms of what he describes as Charismatic Ghetto Parenting or CGP.  This is first problem he identifies:

• CGP is expecting the Sunday school to teach your kids about Jesus.

Talking to our children about God and what He says to us in the Bible should be a natural part of everyday life.  As we are sitting at home with our children we share stories with them about Jesus, Joseph, Noah... As we are walking to playgroup we admire with them the beauty of His creation.  As we tuck them up into bed at night we pray, thanking God with them for His grace and provision, and seeking His will and the power of His Spirit.  As we rise in the morning we sing, worshipping God with them declaring His authority and holiness, for His glory.