Aspects of Character

The Mum's Bible Study group at church have been working through 'Boundaries with Kids' by Henry Cloud and John Townsend over the past few weeks.  Whilst I don't agree with all of their suggestions, and am uncomfortable about their lack of biblical references, the authors raise some interesting points to consider.  In the first chapter they outline the qualities they consider important for a parent to foster in their children, which I have summarised below:

Loving - recognizing that the world does not revolve around you.

Responsible - taking ownership of your life and knowing you are accountable for it to God and others.

Free - realising that you have choices and can take some control of your life (rather than remaining passive or developing a victim mentality).

Initiating - being creative and having the ability to begin things.

Respectful of Reality - developing wisdom through experiencing both the positive and negative consequences of your actions.

Oriented to Growth - facing the obstacles of life and using them to grow and change you (rather than trying to get reality to change to suit you).

Oriented to Truth - honesty.  (Provide a safe environment for your children to be honest, they handle logical consequences of their mistakes better than relational consequences such as anger, guilt, shame, condemnation or abandonment).

Oriented to Transcendence - being grounded in God (gives direction and meaning to life; allows you to transcend problems, your limitations, others' sin against you; focus not on yourself or your own happiness).

They conclude by saying:

'To develop a child of good character, we must be parents of good character'.